Ever wonder why kids act like a deer in the headlights when you ask them something in an urgent voice? For example’s sake, I’ll use a recent event:
Baby barfed all over me. I asked my very competent 8 year old daughter to please get me the baby wipes. I got a stare that said, “Baby wipes? What are baby wipes?”
“Where are the baby wipes?” she asked as she sat next to a heap of diapers AND wipes. I have three diaper babies, so I keep packages of them and wipes upstairs and downstairs. It’s been this way since she can remember. I don’t hide things like that. I change poop for a living… kind of need to have things like diapers on hand!
“They are RIGHT NEXT TO YOU!”
“These?” she asked, picking them up slowly. She was being completely serious (as opposed to outright taunting me).
“Yes!” She scoots her little bottom s-l-o-w-l-y toward me. “By all means, take your time. I’m only covered in vomit.”
“Ugh! Well, I didn’t know what you were talking about!” Yeah. I believe that.
I am convinced that in situations like these, they are retaliating for all the nights I made them eat broccoli. Or wouldn’t buy them Cheetos.