Monthly Archives: September 2012

The Continuing Saga of What Kids Say

I’m sure every parent of more than one child, or a parent who has a child who has been around someone else’s child, has told said child, “Stop tattling.”  It’s a pretty common command in the parenting world.  I have a bunch of kids and they tattle on each other all the time, so I get to use this command quite frequently.

Sometimes parents have to call for back-up.  They tell the other parent what the child did and ask for reinforcement.  This is not called tattling… unless you are my 8-year old.

This morning, I called for reinforcement and the 8-year old said,”Hey!  If I can’t tattle, how come you can?”

I took a deep breath and walked down stairs and said to the hubby, “Do you KNOW what your son just said?!”

Please View My Other Blog…

I can’t figure out how to link the two, so I’m just going to do it this way!

First, a disclaimer:  This is NOTHING like my “Dose of Sanity” blog… it is a collection of poems from age 17 to about a few years ago (I’ve been in a dry poem spell lately).  If you like sad, depressing poetry, you might enjoy some of these…


Slow down, Time,

You go too fast.

Stealing fleeting moments

And burying them in the past.

Slow down, Dear Children,

For quickly have you grown,

Skipping through the years, it seems,

Too soon will you leave home.

Be settled, Worried Heart,

Take each day as it sees fit to come,

Cherishing these precious times,

As to memories they succumb.

There, there, Aching Tears,

It’s the pain, the joy, cries and sorrows,

That truly are gifts to remember,

And the reason for Tomorrows.






Confession: I Yell at Automated Service “Representatives”

Before I begin, can I just ask what exactly we did when our phone service was down and we had to call customer service to have it repaired before cell phones?  Go to the neighbor’s house at 8:00 in the morning?  I will have to ask my mom because I simply do not remember.

Once, when I was about 8 or 9, I called a friend to invite her over to play.  Her mom answered the phone and said, “She will have to call you back.  I’m on the other line.”  I had never heard that expression before, had no idea what it meant, and therefore thought the mom either didn’t want her daughter talking to me, or the mom was just being mean and saying something to a little kid that made no sense.  So I cried.

Anyway, I digress.

This morning we awoke to no internet.  Hubby said the land line was down too (yes, we are so last decade for still having a landline).  So I went to check if my iPad was working.  But no WiFi either!!  So it was time to make a service call… from the cell phone, of course.

After a series of pressing numbers and yelling answers into the phone, and “I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize your response, please re-say or enter your response now,” and then the kids making some more noise, I screamed at the non-living voice on the other end:


“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand your response.  Please hold while I connect you to someone who can assist you.”

“Thank you, stupid fake person.”

Boring hold music began.  I turned it on speaker phone so that I could fold laundry at the same time.  A fake person had told me that I had at least 10 minutes of wait time, so I was multi-tasking.

The hubby rolled over in bed and grumbled that the noise was awful.  I glared and said, “Yes, I thought the same thing when it was screaming its awfulness in my ear.”  We really do secretly love each other.

“Thank you for your patience.  Please continue to hold.  Did you know that you can enter a trouble ticket by logging on to our website at, and clicking on the “service” tab on the screen?  Most questions can be…”

“SHUT UP!  If I had internet, I would NOT be listening to your fake voice and horrible hold music now WOULD I?!”

More music played.  I continued to fold.

“Are you interested in saving your environment?  Did you know you can go green by signing up for paperless billing…”

“I do NOT CARE about the environment (okay, I do… just not when I’m on hold)!!  Now SHUT UP!”

Music continued.  Seriously… was this stuff composed by an actual person?  Or is it somehow artificially generated as well?

After awhile, my call, which was very important to them (hey, the fake person promised me that about 20 times while I was on hold!), was finally answered in the order in which it was received.  And by a LIVE PERSON!   Oh the joy!  A trouble ticket was created and the call was ended.  Someone would be out sometime before the middle of the night.

So… I had plenty of time to take the kiddos to the park, meet a friend for lunch, and then come back home before dashing out for the next series of errands.  And would you know, the internet was magically working again in that short time span of about 3 hours?

I called to cancel the trouble ticket from the car.  The kids were all talking at once and the poor automated service representative could not keep up, so I was transferred to a live person within 30 seconds.  Go figure.

The Stuff Kids Say

On Sunday morning, I stood in my closet searching for something to wear to church.  In came the 4-year old.  She watched me put on a few tops and told me that each one was so pretty and to wear it.  But I continued to change, probably five times.  Finally, she noticed….

My nail polish!

I have had my toes painted the same deep coral color for months now.  But the night before I had painted my fingernails the same color.  It had caught her disapproving eye, and she let me know.

“Why are you wearing orange?  Orange is NOT a pretty color.  I mean, you can wear it if you want to, but you should wear red or pink.  Those are pretty colors.”  I swear, that is what she said… in one breath, word for word.  I turned and stared at her.  WHERE did she come from??  I even asked her this!

“Where did you come from?!”

“Um, EARTH!” she said in her most “duh, Mommy” voice possible.

The stuff kids say!

A 3-Year Old, a Garbage Truck, and Naptime

I have a 3-year old boy who, like most boys, LOVES trucks, cars and trains.  He could stand up to his neck in a sea of cars and trucks and still not get his fill.  So of course, garbage day is an exciting day.  Where we live, we have garbage day two times a week where a separate truck collects for trash and recycling.  That’s four big trucks a week!

Today it was raining.  Everything and everyone is slower on rainy days… even the garbage man.   My son waited all morning for the trucks to come.  He went to the front yard and stood on the sidewalk, blankie in hand and thumb in mouth, waiting very patiently for a 3-year old.  He went to the back of the house and stood at the edge of our driveway and back road, along with the trash bin and the recycling box, and waited some more.  He was very sad that neither truck had come by lunch time.

As I got him ready for a nap, he wanted to check once more for the trucks (even though they can be heard coming from way down the street).  So we checked once more.  No trucks, so he went to bed.

Of course the recycling truck came after I put him in bed for a nap.  And of course he was still awake.  He yelled in a VERY excited voice when he heard it, “I hear it!  The garbage truck is here!  I want to get up!!”  I sighed… and I went in and got him out.  He ran very quickly down the stairs, had big brother open the garage door for him, and waited out by the bins as the truck came by.  Then he ran into the front yard and watched it go the other way.  He did not want to come inside after it was long gone… now he was waiting for the garbage truck!  He was very upset when he carried in the recycling bin and kept saying, “The truck hasn’t dumped the trash!”  I kept trying to explain that it had not come yet… it’s running late today… blah blah blah, all falling on deaf, 3-year old ears.  Finally, he came with me back up the stairs and into bed.

I closed his door, positive that the garbage truck would come a few minutes later….

About 20 minutes later the garbage did come… but I didn’t hear the 3-year old calling out for me.  He had fallen asleep.  I actually was sad for him that he missed it…

…I think when he wakes up, he will be sad too.

Mommy and Her Babies

I have a lot of kids and I am told that on a regular basis.  If I had a penny for every time I heard: “You have your hands full!” I would have paid off our car notes by now.  So, it is really not a wonder that my 4-year old drew this picture and brought it to me proudly…

“Here you are in the middle, Mommy, ” she pointed.  “And here are all your babies!  One, two, three… eleven!”

When the Weather Gets “Cold” in Texas

Yesterday, on September 7, the temperature reached 103 degrees.  And while that may be hot no matter where you live, here it’s just another summer day.  But last night, a few gusts of wind blew, a little rain fell and this morning it is 65.

I was in the shower when the 4-year old came in squeeling and exclaimed with much excitement, “Mommy, it’s COLD outside!!!  I need my jacket with sparkly stars on it!!”  I promised to get it for her when I got out.  She left.  A few moments later she skipped back in and asked if we could put up the Christmas tree.  I told her not now… and she asked if we could when I got out of the shower.

“Christmas is not for another 3 months,” I said.  She was very upset and left the room to report this to her older brothers.  Then she came back in.

“How long is three months?”

“Well, first it has to be my birthday, then it has to be Thanksgiving.  Then it will be your birthday, Grandma’s birthday and THEN it will be Christmas.”  Kids seem to magically understand time when you attach their birthdays to events.  Anyway, she needed this repeated a few more times before she remembered the sequence.  Then she threw up her hands and said with great and loud displeasure that it would be FOREVER until Christmas.

I got out of the shower and she immediately wanted the sparkly jacket.  I compromised that a jumper with a light long-sleeved shirt underneath would be much better than her snow suit (okay, that’s a lie, we don’t have snow suits… and if it did snow, we would have nothing to wear so would probably just stay inside and watch it from the window).  She was happy with the outfit and for now has forgotten about the Christmas tree…