Love and Marriage… According to the 7-Year Old

My 7-year old son is very concerned that one of his aunts is not married.  Now there are two important facts here before anyone jumps to conclusions.  First, he has seven aunts, four on one side, three on the other.  Three of the four on the one side are married, and all three on the other are also married.  So, this particular aunt is the only one he has that is unwed.  Secondly, she is not “old,” although, for a 7-year old, I can see how someone in their mid-20’s could be considered so.

On several occasions, my son has asked her why she is not married and when she plans to find a husband.   He is not a rude child and means no disrespect when he asks.   Apparently, it is a genuine concern of his and he loves his aunt and wants to see her happily married off to a nice man.  Can’t argue with that, right?

A few months back, my sister (Aunt X) was at my house and my son asked her about her hubby situation.  Still the same.  So he said, “I know who you can marry!  Uncle Z is not married either… you can marry him!”  Uncle Z is Aunt X’s uncle, so we had to have a little chat about how people can not marry their uncles, etc.

The next chance for my son to have “The Talk” face to face was a few days ago.  I was talking casually with Aunt X and my boy was sitting in the same room, building an impressive city out of Legos.  Out of the blue (which is characteristic for this child) and without looking up from his construction, he asked bluntly, “Aunt X, when are you going to find a husband?”  We laughed.  I don’t remember the response, but she gave him one.  The 7-year old said nothing else and continued building.  She didn’t have a good enough answer for him, so he had nothing else to say.

The following morning, Aunt X was excited to tell her nephew that she has now been on several dates with a guy she really likes.  Now normally, I wouldn’t find date-sharing details to be an appropriate conversation for children of this age.  But he has been concerned with her marital status, and she was apparently trying to excite him that nuptials very well could be in her future.  So I let the conversation continue.

“Great,” he said, “So you’ve found a husband then?”

“Well, no,” she answered, “but I like him and I went on a few dates with him.”  My son had no response.  He doesn’t even know what a “date” is!  But she decided to prod a little into his mind.

“So what kind of person do you think I should marry?”

“Well,” he began, “he should have a beard and a mustache and dark hair.  Not white.”  Good… he obviously doesn’t think Aunt X is old enough to be looking in the gray/white-haired age group!

“And he should have a lot of money and be a lawyer,” he continued.  “He should be like Tony Stark, except not sell weapons.”

This morning, Aunt X had a brunch date.  She sent me a text message with a picture of her holding a very large bouquet of flowers and said “please show this to your son… these are the flowers that Tony Stark gave me today.”  I showed my son the picture.  He had no expression and simply said,

“Where is the picture of him?

This kid is a tough cookie… but in his defense, he just wants the best for his aunt, right?

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