The Stairmaster

I’m very happy to share my exercise regimen for the very first time!  A few people have asked, so I have decided to make it available here for FREE!  The only equipment needed for this guaranteed butt-blasting exercise is a set of stairs (available with many monthly mortgage plans) and a two-year old trapped in a crib.

Step One:  Say prayers, read lots of books, sing many songs and make sure two-year old is comfy and cozy and dry in his bed.  Say goodnight.

Step Two:  Walk DOWN the stairs and wait a few minutes.  This step requires no more than two minutes worth of patience TOPS.

Step Three:  Two-year old will ask for milk.  Obligingly, fill a bottle, cup or whatever with milk and go UP the stairs.  For added butt-blasting benefits, walk DOWN the stairs while two-year old drinks the milk.  If adding this extra up/down part, proceed to step four.  If not, you’re a wimp.  Skip to step five.

Step Four:  Two-year old will announce he is done with his milk.  Go UP the stairs and retrieve the bottle, cup or whatever.

Step Five:  Go DOWN the stairs.  Two-year old will cry that his toe hurts and now wants a band-aid, even though he did not want one BEFORE bedtime.  They reserve the right to change their minds, too.

Step Six:  Find band-aids.  Go UP the stairs.  Apply band-aid with a kiss and smile.  Two-year old will pout and stare at band-aid and say he doesn’t want it.  Try to remain calm as you take back off the band-aid and leave the room.

Step Seven: Go DOWN the stairs.

Step Eight:  Two-year old will cry that you did not put back on his blanket when you left him last.  Go UP the stairs.  Put the blanket on the two-year old.  Try to remain sweet and calm and say goodnight again.

Step Nine: Go DOWN the stairs.

Step Ten:  Stretch.

*  You can intensify this workout by running up and down the stairs through these steps.

** For serious butt-blasting benefits, put on ankle weights before bedtime.

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